That feeling of being lost in life, that desire to find meaning.

When I decided that a career in Finance was no longer for me I felt incredibly lost in life. At a time in life when I should have felt excited about a whole new chapter about to begin and a new adventure that lay ahead, I felt nothing but fear and self doubt. I remember crying down the phone to my mum one night saying I just wished this period of my life was over. 

I wanted to know my path, I wanted the clarity of knowing my next step and the step after that and I simply didn’t. I didn’t know where I was headed, I didn’t know what life had in store for me and that was incredibly frustrating. 

From a very young age I have always had a ‘plan’, I always knew exactly what I wanted to do and how to make it happen. I strived for a job in finance, I wanted to be successful in the corporate world but when I achieved that I felt nothing, I felt like an imposter. I had this great job, a well-respected position at work and the career I had worked so hard for but I didn’t feel any sense of fulfilment. I felt empty, as if I was saying ‘is this it?’ I would sit in meetings in fancy offices surrounded by exceptionally talented people and just think ‘is this what the next 40 years of my life is going to look like?’ 

It’s sometimes hard to put down in words that feeling and what was running through my head. I by no means hated my job, in fact I quite liked it but I wasn’t content. I felt like my wings were clipped, I felt like I was destined for something greater, something outside the four walls of the office I worked, something that I was never going to achieve in work. 

It started as a whisper inside of me, something that would quietly say in the background ‘are you satisfied?’ 

When I started to explore opportunities outside the corporate world and the very stereotypical career path I had chosen that whisper got a lot louder until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. The voice inside of me was now screaming ‘you are destined for something different Laura, this is not what your life is meant to look like’ 

That’s when the anxiety and a very stressful period of my life started. I felt so incredibly torn, I flipped between chasing the unknown and staying at a great job that I had worked so hard for A LOT!! My job was everything I knew, it was what my life up until that moment had been about, all my decisions had been around that career – my move to London, my studies, my ambitions. I felt my job was a huge part of my identity and here I was about to step away from it all and that scared me beyond words. They say life begins outside of your comfort zone, well I was right at the edge looking out of my comfort zone into the unknown and it was not a good feeling. 

‘Just go for it’

‘life is short’

‘you won’t know until you try’

These are the just some of the things people were telling me when I told them my plans and although I fully agreed with them it provided little comfort. I felt like I was about to put on a blindfold, throw myself of a cliff edge with just the hope of something catching me. I was about to leave a secure career, one that had potential, a lot of potential,and jump into something I didn’t even know if it was going to work. 

That was the hardest thought to get my head round.

You always read the standard motivational quotes but let me tell you when you are faced with the reality of actually throwing caution to the wind and going for it – it is truly terrifying. I am a very logical thinker and I was not about to step away from something safe and secure without fully considering all risks. 

I felt lost. I felt like everyone else around me knew what they were doing with their lives, knew what they wanted to do, they were settling down and here I was about to just chuck my career to the side to start out on a new adventure. I felt like I couldn’t quite see my path and that was a very hard time for me. It is hard to fully run towards a goal when you can’t clearly see the path

What I knew for sure: Work didn’t fulfil me, it didn’t make me happy. My time in finance was over. 

Although I wasn’t quite sure of the path ahead I knew with certainty that my current life was over. 

And that is what I held on to in those dark times of feeling lost, scared and uncertain. Although I didn’t have the answers to what I was about to do next, I knew inside of me that my life wasn’t inside those four walls of the office.

I had no idea what my life would go next but what I did know was that I wasn’t going to allow the fear of the unknown force me to settle for a life that was ‘comfortable’

I also had complete faith in myself.  Again that feeling is hard to describe and something I can’t quite tell you how to achieve but I had complete and utter faith in myself and knew that no matter what I chose to do with my life I would be just fine. 

There is ONLY one person in this life who you need to make proud and that is YOU. I thought back to my younger self full of hope for the future, that young girl who always worked hard at everything she did and I just told myself I would fight for her. And I know that sounds corny but its true, I deserved to go out into the world and figure out exactly what i wanted my life to look like for that younger version of myself. 

So I did, I decided to quit my job and started putting my exit plan in place. I started looking into other opportunities which was a long process. I didn't decide to leave my job and the next day knew that I wanted to start my own business. It was after months and month AND months of torment that I realised my next step 

Was it hard? YES

Was it worth it? 100% 

I am happier now that I even knew possible. 

So if anyone is reading this and unsure about what to do with their life - don't stop trying to find the answer

I decided to jump off that cliff into the unknown and i flew...that can happen to you too 

Allow yourself to become everything YOU deserve to be

You only live this life once, be sure to be the one holding the pen of that story